By Constable Hezekiah J Thundersnort
Subscriber of Spotify Premium, Reader of Pitchfork, Displayer of Dubiousness
Here’s the deal, chuckleheads. You need another best-of-the-year list like you need another lingual frenulum.
I know this. And honestly, the fact that you’re getting it at the beginning (almost the middle, if I’m honest) of the New Year makes it even MORE useless.
I would’ve posted this sooner but Santa decided to bring me COVID this year. Joke’s on you, though, Santa. I love drugs and sleeping anyway!
And yet, I offer this list to you for the same reasons I think ALL music nerds do it — to impress you with my impeccable taste, to highlight records others may have missed and to piss you off so you argue about them.
Any decent music list needs to do all three.
In addition, and because I’m a crotchety old goose, I’m going to complain about some of the albums that were snubbed by the OTHER guys.
Sound good? WHO CARES! Let’s light this candle!
The Locals
Just Rats “Now Made with Real Cheese!” — Is this a record from 2024? Yes. Can I do what I want? Also yes.
This record RIPS. From the ‘80s metal riffs of “Mare Cognitum,” the ‘90s down-tuned ballad-cum-rocker “Exceed Capacity,” to the jazzy, bossa-nova-turned-rager “Velveteen,” this album is chock full of surprises. Fave track: the punk-rock earworm “Intruder Alert.”
Charlie’s Poolhouse “Pollen EP” — Midwest-emo-heartbreak never sounded so catchy as on this debut from this Statesboro quartet. With chunky rhythm and bass guitars, soaring leads and plaintive melodies, “Pollen” is a mature and assured first album. Fave track: the moody, atmospheric rocker “pawn.”
Beneath Trees “Grow the Garden EP” — A two-piece, bluesy, punk-rock band that sounds massive on this four-song EP. Imagine if Jack and Meg switched places. Got it? Yeah, get this one. Fave track: it’s four songs that rock! Throw a dart, man!
Farseek “Intent EP” — Cam Harrison, a carpetbagger from Ohio who now resides in Statesboro, Georgia, has obviously been inspired by his surroundings here in the South. These bombastic midwest emo songs have flourishes of country-tinged jangle pop wrapped up in distorted and ethereal guitars. Don’t get it twisted, though, these songs are virulently catchy. Fave track: “Thanks for Saving My House from Burning Down” and “Doom Scroll” and…well…the whole thing is good, people. It’s four songs.
Femme Reaper “TBD” — Femme Reaper hasn’t recorded any of their songs yet, but if you’ve been fortunate enough to hear them live, you know they’ve got a BANGER album just waiting for a hard drive.
The Rest of ‘Em
I don’t want to put these albums in order because I like each one for a different reason. I get a little twitchy when the “professionals” tell you exactly where an album fits on the list. Like…oh, is SZA’s “SOS” REALLY just a BETTER album than the Mandy, Indiana, record?
No! That’s stupid. They’re apples and oranges, people.
Anyways…where was I?
Li’l Yachty “Let’s Start Here” — Alright, first of all, the fact that this album didn’t make the final 50 on several of the snootier “Best Of” lists honestly pisses me off.
Li’l Yachty made a psychedelia-infused-rock-trap-hip-hop record. I DARE you to listen to this album front to back and tell me this is not an inspired artist at work.
One reviewer knocked Yachty for working with specific producers to get a specific sound and I’m like “YOU MEAN LIKE EVERY OTHER ARTIST DOES?” You think people that work with Steve Freaking Albini are less original? People that work with Rick Rubin? The Alchemist? Did Taylor Swift lose her cred when she worked with Bon Iver for her “indie” record? STFU!
This album is a knockout. It absolutely bowled me over. First time I heard “IVE OFFICIALLY LOST ViSiON!!!!” I rounded up anybody I could find and said “Have you ever heard anything like this?”
This album is just banger after banger with the exception of a couple of talkie tracks where Yachty waxes philosophical.
One of the best of the year. Period.
Yves Tumor “Praise a Lord Who Chews But Does Not Consume” — this is a post-punk record wrapped in the guise of a club record. It’s danceable and dark, plumbing the philosophical depths of what it means to have a god in the universe. I’m pretty sure this is my favorite album of the year, but don’t pin me down. Fave track: the frenetic, pulsing “God is a Circle.”
Baxter Dury “I Thought I Was Better Than You” — Honestly, I was ambivalent about this album at first, but after a few listens I fell in love with Dury’s cool blasé—disconnected from deep emotion but also somehow rooted in it as well. He sounds like a disaffected, club-worn very English Leonard Cohen. Fave track: the sparse, pulsing “Pale White Nissan.”
Mononegatives “Crossing Visual Field” — saw this on NOBODY’S LIST. Blippy, tweaky, driving punk-rock? Fourteen songs in about 30 minutes? Chant-like, DEVO-esque lyrics? Yes, please! Fave track: the retro-synth-driven “North Carolina Atomic Bomb.”
the GOLDEN DREGS “On Grace & Dignity” — Another album I didn’t see on anybody’s list this year. Stupid. Alter ego of producer Benjamin Woods, the GOLDEN DREGS sound like if the ghost of David Berman took ecstasy and got hold of synths and samplers. These songs are weirdly beautiful, with Woods’ deep, dripping voice lurking over their lumbering tempos. Surprises abound in these songs — a random trumpet, plinking keys, warbling and waterlogged synths muted behind bright, pop melodies. It’s an album you can get lost in. Fave track(s): “Before We Fell From Grace,” “Vista” and “Josephine.”
100 Gecs “10,000 Gecs” — Where their last album, “1,000 Gecs” felt like fuzzy-to-the-point-of-being-unlistenable hyperpop, this album boasts amazing production with moments of delicacy, deft and beautiful guitar shredding, gorgeous rock basslines, irresistibly catchy pop melodies and so much more. Just when you think you have these songs pegged, they flip on you. This album is just an absolute blast. Fave track(s): “One Million Dollars,” “Hollywood Baby,” and “Dumbest Girl Alive.”
Bully “Lucky for You” — You just want to hear a great rock record? Big guitars, killer riffs with screaming vocals? This is it, man. Fave track: “Days Move Slow.”
Mandy, Indiana “i’ve seen a way” — Synth-driven post-rock with an industrial edge, this record pounds its way into your skull. It’s percussive and frightening with disembodied voices speaking in French, shrieking melodies, screaming guitars. What a rush! Fave tracks: “Love Theme (4K VHS),” “Pinking Shears,” “2 stripe.”
Grian Chatten “Chaos for the Fly” — The first solo album from the Fontaines DC frontman is decidedly melancholy. These songs are driven by acoustic guitar and Chatten’s Dublin brogue, embellished with beautiful strings and blippy drum machines and synths. I returned to this album often this year. It’s good for what ails ya. Fave tracks: “The Score,” “Last Time Every Time Forever,” “Fairlies” — jeez, I realize these are the first three songs, but honestly these songs are just so good. The rest are good, too.
Tele Novella “Poet’s Tooth” — Is this album the wet dream of a balladeer? Yes. But there’s something else there. The group describes their music as “coin-operated medieval country songs through a 1950s western lens.” Does that sound pretentious? Hell yes it does. But hot damn these songs are pretty and sad, full of longing and humor and latent wisdom threaded through harpsichords and organs and acoustic guitars and squishy, pork-pie-sounding electronic drums. It sometimes sounds as if Ricky Nelson collaborated with Belle and Sebastian to make a western album. It’s quirky and wonderful. Fave tracks: “Poet’s Tooth,” “Eggs in one Basket,” “Young & Free.”
Deeper “Careful!” — This was a late-year surprise for me. Deeper often sounds like a 21st-century reinvention of The Cars through the lens of early ‘80s post-rock, with angular, weird guitars and synths, and paranoid, quirky vocals. It’s a combination that grabbed me immediately, and drew me back to repeated listens. Fave tracks: “Build a Bridge,” and “Sub.”
Wednesday “Rat Saw God” — This record is something of a conundrum. The first quarter of the album, most notably, “Hot Rotten Grass Smell” and “Bull Believer” makes Wednesday sound like a ‘90s grungy, shoegaze revival band. But that’s how they trick you. The album morphs from scuzzy guitars to country-tinged rock, slowly adding an Asheville, North Carolina, twang that seeps in. Somehow, it works. Even in their straight-ahead rock songs, lead singer Kelly Hartzman isn’t afraid to bring scream therapy into the mix. There’s not a bad song on this album…if you’re flexible enough to handle the mood shifts. Fave tracks: “Hot Rotten Grass Smell,” “Bath County,” and “Got Shocked.”
BTW…if you don’t have tickets to see Wednesday at the Lodge of Sorrow, sucks for you! Go get ‘em now if they have any left!
Alright, that’s it, my little scamps. It feels like I wrote a bazillion words for this article. I have a feeling some of you bailed long ago, but for those who stuck around, please understand that my nipples are fighting my shirt fabric in your honor.
Until next year…
